Tuesday, January 28, 2014

BLAHS! Go away please

Well Sunday was not too bad. I was feeling a little better, and my husband got free tickets to the PBR. We took the family to the rodeo and afterwards my daughter wanted to go to the mall.  I did get some walking in during the visit to the mall.

 Monday was a day of sleep. Sunday wore me out more than I thought, and I did nothing but sleep the day away.  But then I work nights, so I was just reverting back to my normal schedule.

Apparently it snowed a little last night, and I still haven't figured what I am going to do with myself today other than study for an exam I am having tomorrow.  I have had the "Munchies" for the past two days...So the week's worth of steroids for my breathing trouble has kicked in good, I guess. Necessary evil! Needed it to breath, not helping my waistline a bit!

So this week has not been very productive.

Maybe a little depression going on. ???

I have been off my Lexapro for several months now.
I was only on it for six months. It helped a little, but I didn't understand how much until I found myself "Ripping" my poor husband's head off the other day for hurting my feelings...he had no idea that he did so, and I flew off the handle.

 I am going to have to find a little stress relief to help settle my nerves can revive my zest for life.  It's tough sometimes! But I guess it's okay to be sad sometimes. Life's a cycle, and you can not always be on top. Just having a "BLAH!" day today.
My your journeys be less "Bumpy" than mine.
Not Happy Today!

Friday, January 24, 2014

1 Step forward...2 steps back!

So last night was not such a good night to start my baby steps. I did park way out in the parking lot at work and walk in.
Step 1. Check!

However the stairs where a "No-Go"! 
I  was coughing so hard after walking in that it was difficult to even talk. When I arrived upstairs to my work, my boss was like..."Oh no! Home you go!"
More like to the ER! Breathing treatment, more antibiotics, and steroids.

And guess what? I have scarring in my lungs, no doubt from being exposed to a continuous burn several years ago that my county put on after a severe ice storm. At the time I was hospitalized after over a week's exposure to heat and smoke with pneumonia and influenza A and influenza B.

The smoke was so thick it looked like dusk for days, and the heat so intense it melted the meter dial on my water meter (which is still broke, by the way). After several failed calls to the county to get them to stop all the burning right across the street from my house, it finally took my hospitalization and a call to the EPA by my husband to get them to shut it all down.

Thing is, at the time, I was so sick, I was just happy to be able to breathe again! I wasn't aware of the permanent damage I would end up with.

I now know why I am still sick and not getting better.   :(

 Yeah! *Sarcastic

At least I slept for a little last night before the coughing woke me up.
So I now have to do some preplanning. Doctors says I may have this cough for 3 more weeks before I am better. So no extra cardio for me right now. 

But I will be watching what I eat.  I am going to be working on my portion sizes. My dessert plate is becoming my new dinner plate.
Soda pop is out! (That is killing me!) But then it is killing me to drink it....so, it's out!
Processed foods are going to a minimum. I may as well try to clean out my kitchen cupboards while I am off from work for the next few days. Of course that is going to probably take several days in and of itself with as crappy as I feel.

So hears to a slow...but deliberate start!
(Just a "before" picture)
OK...2 years ago I was a much healthier 132 pounds. Still had a slight "Muffin-Top" but hey, I've had two children that I am very proud to have brought into this world. But I don't have double and triple chins! I was more active and had more energy. A work related injury side lined my gym routine (swimming)...and look what I lost!...err... should I say "added" since then.
 More proof that I CAN DO THIS!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Getting started...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I best be getting to it.

      I have spent the last three days in bed battling round two of an upper respiratory infection/flu. Two weeks ago I battled round one, and fought it for five days before I felt some what human again. Apparently not all was well, as the last few days have proven. And my general lack of good health a second time in as many weeks sent me searching for a medical explanation. I remember thinking to myself when I got on the scale at the doctor's office "Wow I have lost 5 pounds!" Of course a diet of watered down apple juice and orange Gatorade does little to replenish calories lost to the horrors brought on by being sick. It is not really the way I want to lose weight, and I would not recommend it to anyone. But, it seems to be the only way I have lost any weight in some time.  My scales have been hovering around 170 pounds for the last several months. I do not look good, nor do I feel good at this weight.

     I have let my busy schedule and the stress in my life take control over me. Between graduate school and my work as a nurse manager consuming all my free time, free will, and energy, there was little time for anything else. Not to mention the stress was probably upping my cortisol levels...and my waist line! I  have since stepped down from my position in management, back to the floor for patient care. Yes I am a nurse. And yes, I know better. But here lately I have been caring for everyone but myself! I have taken the first step in ridding the excess stress in my life. I am taking the first step in finding a healthier and happier me. I want to be a role model for my patients. Even if the first steps are baby steps...

     Today I am going to try and just make it through work; I am recovering from being ill, remember... But I will park at the back of the parking lot, and see if I can at least make it up one flight of stairs before I have to resort to taking the elevator the rest of the way up. So it is just small steps today.

                                                         (Feeling optimistic)
And, no I will not hide my face...or body.
Yes I am over weight with two if not possibly three chins!
I claim it!
I did it!
And I will undo it!
Just watch me!
 Blessings to your on your own personal journeys...  KR